© 2019 by Michelle Reed. 

  • Seashells

Why you shouldn't go back to your ex

Let me begin by saying, you are an amazing person with so much to look forward to in life. You have the whole world to discover and loads of opportunities to uncover. A relationship is only a small part of your amazing life.

When a relationship ends, in my eyes, it's for the best. Obviously something wasn't working in that relationship and the mistake people make is when they break up with someone, they remember the good times, not the bad. You can have good times with your dog. Yes I said it. I understand that on very rare circumstances, break ups can be a little bit understandable, for example, if someone moving away for years, or moving to another country or something that prevents them from having a relationship, but if you are truly serious about someone, nothing would stop you from being will that person. If they are the ones that broke up with you and gave you some lame excuse as to why you can't be together. Then ignore that excuse and realise that you are so much better than someone who is only giving you scraps. You are worth so much more. You are worth so much that someone would give anything to spend time with you. They would always out your first, they would always listen to your opinion and compromise with you to keep you happy. They would give anything to stay with you. If this person couldn't do that, don't let them be a second thought. There are billions of people out there that wouldn't dream of upsetting you. So why give someone who would a second thought?

If you are the one that broke up with them, there is still a reason you broke up. Something wasn't making you happy. Think back to when you were in that relationship, were you happy more than you were unhappy, or was it the other way round? I know some people stay together for all sorts of reasons, comfort, security, financial. But you can find that in someone else, and even in other things. Hobbies, friends, family, new dates you name it. Put yourself out there. Keep yourself busy. Fill up your time with things that make you happy. Your ex isn't one of them. If they can't treat you right, then don't give them the chance to hurt you again. There are so many people out there who would love a date with you, you just haven't met them yet. Until you do, enjoy life, and let go of anyone who doesn't give you anything but positive vibes. You may miss this person, but that's all they are, another person. Of course if you had memories together, you may miss a certain memory, but if you look at the relationship overall, do you still miss that person?

If there was something you didn't like about that person, and you tried your best to communicate it and they still didn't alter their behavior, this just shows you things will never change. Things will always be the same, and you will always suffer from it. By all means, if someone makes a mistake, I do believe in giving them the benefit on the doubt. More than once and it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice. If they can't respect you enough to sacrifice or change something for you, they don't love you enough to even be worthy of your effort.

The emotional baggage of this person becomes lighter and lighter as time goes on. If you are newly single, give yourself time. Allow yourself to cry, but allow yourself to have fun and smile too. If you do start to miss an ex, get yourself out there and talk to other potentials. If a thought of them comes back into your head, do something else with that energy, listen to your favourite music, go on a long drive. You will be surprised how little you think of someone when you keep busy.

'Don't let your past come back, it has nothing new to say'.